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10 Ways to Honor A Loss Baby

I strongly believe in acknowledging my daughter when ever I get an opportunity to do so. It is important to me that she is remembered and that her life continues to mean something. Therefore, I would like to share 10 of the ways Ashley's life has been honored.
  1. I say her name as much as possible. It is so simple but I love referring to Ashley by her name. For those parents who did not get a chance to officially name their babies, a nickname will do. But I believe in using our children names it is a beautiful way of cherishing our children. 
  2. Tattoos. I personally did not do this but my husband did. It is his way of keeping her with him every where he goes. 
  3. Jewelry. I have two necklaces, one that is a cameo a mother and baby and one that is a cross with a mom holding a baby, as well as a ring engraved with Ashley's name and birth/death date inside of it. I wear my ring every day. I know the cross has a diamond in it which is Ashley's birthstone. Jewelry is a great way to honor and remember your child. 
  4. Displaying baby's picture. In our house, Ashley's picture is hanging in the living room with the other family pictures and in the kitchen with more family pictures. Her face is the background on both of my husband's and my phones. We refused to hide her like some secret. If you do not have a picture of your baby but maybe have the sonogram, display that if you like. If your loss was before a sonogram, maybe display a shadow box with baby items in it or create a collage around your baby's name. 
  5. Include baby during holidays. During Christmas, I got an angel ornament for Ashley. On Thanksgiving, I included her in prayer. My husband and I mentioned her on Easter and Good Friday since she born on Good Friday. We both give one another a card and do something special for each other on Mother's Day and Father's Day. It is alright to include your baby in your holiday celebration in your own way. 
  6. Release a balloon/light a candle. The hospital where I delivered Ashley held a special ceremony before lighting the hospital's Christmas tree where the families who loss children attend the ceremony and at the end hang an ornament on the hospital's Christmas tree and releases a balloon with the loss baby's name on it. I cried so much afterwards because it felt like letting her go all over again. However, it was a beautiful way to honor her life. On her angel anniversaries, since she lived for about 2 1/2 hours, I will light a candle for as long as she lived before blowing it out.
  7. Memorial stones/plaques. Ashley was cremated and her remains were buried at the hospital with the other babies who were loss so we do not have a place to go visit her per se. But before we left the hospital, my husband found the most beautiful memorial plaque that says "Life is not measured by the number of breaths that you take, but by the moments that take your breath away." It was so appropriate since Ashley's lungs were not fully developed when she was born. I cried. The plaque now sits in our living room. 
  8. Participate in charity walks or donate to charity. Next year, I plan to participate in the March of Dimes annual walk "March for Babies" because March of Dimes are not only spreading awareness about the many different pregnancy and infant loss, but they are also trying to find solutions to decrease the numbers of families that go through this. Even though I did not walk this year, I did donate. I know for me it is important that to help spread understanding and to promote more viable pregnancies and babies.
  9. Plant a flower/tree. My mom did this and she loves it. She planted a perennial flower so it would come back every year to honor Ashley. I found it to be sweet. I also know of another lady that planted a tree for her son to watch it grow since she was unable to watch her son grow up. 
  10. Websites/Blogs/Facebook. This blog has helped me heal in soo many ways. Sharing truly is caring. I know now that Ashley and her story and her life is not just known to me and my husband but the world over. It makes my heart feel so good to know that her life is helping a Mom or Dad right now with the most difficult time in their lives. 
Feel free to comment with ways you and your family has honored your baby.

4 comments:

  1. On April 22 2011 I lost my niece Ashley Simmons. Never got to tell her how much she looks like her mother or shows shades of her father, only got to hold her after she was called home. No matter what I did I felt like it wasnt enough to compensate for what my bro and sis were/are going through. I am very proud to see that my sis has found a way to get through and God willing her and my bro will continue and their story will help others. This is a powerful blog from a very strong woman

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  2. Ashley Simmons will always havs a place in my heart

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  3. We honored my son Tristin for his first year anniversary/birthday in heaven by having a small gathering of family and friends. We planted a tree and placed an Statue of an Angel beside of it. We then said a prayer in honor of him. Then we went inside and had some refreshments. It was simple but was very meaningful. It really just depends on what you want personally. I tried to get a small tree that would always stand out and be a symbol of how he would grow if he would of been able to be here on earth. Just do something that you are comfortable with. My husband was not too happy with inviting people over but he knew that it made me feel better afterward to have all of the support I needed by having the ones I loved there with me. I hope you are able to plan something that will make you feel a little better about the day.....

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  4. I made a conscious decision to honor my daughter River every day by making a renewed commitment to her father, and to the goal of having and raising a family together. I also started a blog to help me record all the ways that River touches my life every day, as well as the ways I have changed and evolved after becoming the mother to an angel.

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