Am I A Mom?

I'm not even going to build up to the answer to this question-- YES! The second I knew I was pregnant, I changed my world for the sake of my unborn child. I made sure every thing I ate, every thing I did, and even things I was going to do were going to be for Ashley.

There will be a few people out there that will not acknowledge you on Mother's Day because they never saw your baby. My thoughts on that has always been (even before I loss my daughter) if a parent loss their child in war, in a car accident, or to a life long illness, would you not could that child as their child after that child died? OF COURSE you would count that child as their child AND you would still acknowledge the parents as parents even though people can no longer see that child.

Well, it is the same thing when a baby dies. That child was still a part of your life. No matter how brief. That child was your flesh, your hopes, your dreams, your name sake, your heart, your joy, your future, and just yours. We are parents. Declare it. The only difference between our children and the children in the playground is the only way we get hold our babies is only in our hearts-- and that's okay.

Mother's Day
My very first Mother's Day was extremely hard for two reasons. The first was that year I would have been 24 weeks along glowing with my daughter, and I was really looking forward to being a mother (finally) on Mother's Day. The second reason was I literally loss my daughter 3 weeks before and it was all still so unreal that my daughter died. I was not as confident about still being a mother after losing my baby just yet.

My husband, my mom, and my best friend were great that Mother's Day. My husband and best friend each got me cards and my mom got me flowers. Although I already knew that I was a mom without their gifts, it felt great to have validation that others saw me as a mother too-- and treated me as such.

It is so important to honor yourself for the love you have for your child. I was fortunate enough that I had people who did recognize me. But if they hadn't, I knew that I was a mother and that was all that matter-- on Mother's day and every day going forward for the rest of my life.

1 comment:

  1. I'm trying to get my sister to go to grief counseling in Denver but I think just hearing real life stories of women who went through the same thing help too! You are definitely a mother! You created a beautiful child and raised it for 9 months!