Oh how many hours and Google searches I have spent reading every thing about dealing/coping/surviving the death of a baby, neonatal death, stillbirth (since I loss my daughter after 20 weeks), infant death, etc.
Then once the autopsy came back to say that the cause of the premature labor was a placental abruption, I read EVERYTHING known to man to try to find out why, how, why me, what, and why again.